Tuesday, April 15, 2008

April sucks

Worst...month...ever. If there's a month to burn out a music teacher, this is it. Three solo and ensemble festivals and state large group contest, all with the extra rehearsals, paperwork, and stress that go with them. This is the one month that I feel more like a coach than a teacher or musician.
They're all competitive. I struggle with that aspect of it. With sports you have a score and definite rules. You know when the basketball's gone through the hoop, when the baseball's gone over the wall, and when the wide receiver's holding the football in the end zone. Isn't music art? Aren't we creating? Where's the objectiveness in that? How can I tell a kid they got a "II" because the judge thought they played a "II"? Especially when a kid who didn't play as well got an easier judge and got a "I"? And what do I tell a kid who got a "IV"? "You must suck; give up"?
Contest is even worse. I try to get my students revved up, but I have trouble buying into it myself. Three judges sit there and rate my group, without knowing what my program looks like, how many students take lessons, what they sounded like at the beginning of the year, or anything besides what we put on stage that one time. And everyone knows what score you get. The other orchestra directors, your administration, the parents of your students...all make snap judgments, whether they mean to or not, based on that score. So I feel that a lot of emphasis has to be placed on contest, even though the very idea of it runs contrary to my philosophy of teaching music. I want my students to excel, but within the context of their own experience. After each concert, we do a self-evaluation where the students assess their performance, how we've improved, and how we can continue to improve. That's how I want my students to be motivated, not by the fear of how someone they don't even know could rate them on one performance. It's not that I don't think judges can't offer some constructive criticism or enlighten me and my orchestra with some insight from their own perspective: it's the score I have a problem with. The stupid freakin' score.
So, here I am, eating dinner from Wendy's before a two-hour "night before contest" rehearsal, trying to care and not succeeding. I want to forget about contest, play some great literature, and get my students excited about music. Is that too much to ask?
Also, these fries are soggy.

1 comment:

Cali said...

You would have felt better if you didn't eat at Wendy's.