Worst...month...ever. If there's a month to burn out a music teacher, this is it. Three solo and ensemble festivals and state large group contest, all with the extra rehearsals, paperwork, and stress that go with them. This is the one month that I feel more like a coach than a teacher or musician.
They're all competitive. I struggle with that aspect of it. With sports you have a score and definite rules. You know when the basketball's gone through the hoop, when the baseball's gone over the wall, and when the wide receiver's holding the football in the end zone. Isn't music art? Aren't we creating? Where's the objectiveness in that? How can I tell a kid they got a "II" because the judge thought they played a "II"? Especially when a kid who didn't play as well got an easier judge and got a "I"? And what do I tell a kid who got a "IV"? "You must suck; give up"?
Contest is even worse. I try to get my students revved up, but I have trouble buying into it myself. Three judges sit there and rate my group, without knowing what my program looks like, how many students take lessons, what they sounded like at the beginning of the year, or anything besides what we put on stage that one time. And everyone knows what score you get. The other orchestra directors, your administration, the parents of your students...all make snap judgments, whether they mean to or not, based on that score. So I feel that a lot of emphasis has to be placed on contest, even though the very idea of it runs contrary to my philosophy of teaching music. I want my students to excel, but within the context of their own experience. After each concert, we do a self-evaluation where the students assess their performance, how we've improved, and how we can continue to improve. That's how I want my students to be motivated, not by the fear of how someone they don't even know could rate them on one performance. It's not that I don't think judges can't offer some constructive criticism or enlighten me and my orchestra with some insight from their own perspective: it's the score I have a problem with. The stupid freakin' score.
So, here I am, eating dinner from Wendy's before a two-hour "night before contest" rehearsal, trying to care and not succeeding. I want to forget about contest, play some great literature, and get my students excited about music. Is that too much to ask?
Also, these fries are soggy.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Time to forgive Roy
As an avid KU basketball fan, I was obviously thrilled with the results of last night's game. Sinking back in my chair when Memphis was up by 9 with little time left, I felt disappointed. But things started going the Jayhawk's way, and soon I found myself on my feet again, then on my knees with my hands on my head. By the end of the game, Traci and I were jumping up and down, screaming and hugging each other. Traci wanted to drive to Lawrence after the game, but we both had work today, and we weren't really sure we wanted to stand out in the rain with a bunch of drunk college kids.
I've been a fan ever since 1988, when I didn't care about college basketball, but watched Danny and the miracles beat the heavily favored Sooner team to win the national title. Ever since then, I've been hooked. I attended the UMKC Conservatory for my undergrad and Masters (go Roos?), but they're not really a sports school, so my allegiance has stayed with the school down the road. I loved Roy Williams and what he did for the program, but he could never win the big one. When he left for North Carolina after saying he wouldn't, I, like many fans, was very upset and my love for Roy instantly turned sour. My least favorite team immediately went from Duke to North Carolina, with Roy's picture at the center of my dartboard (I don't really have a dartboard). When he won the National Championship with North Carolina the following year, something he could never do with KU, my contempt only grew.
Meanwhile, Bill Self was building his own program here. We suffered some disappointing first round tournament losses early on, sparking concern in some. But I really like Bill Self, and had faith that he would be "our guy." This year, of course, he proved it. And in the process, I've come to forgive Roy Williams.
First, we beat North Carolina (soundly) in the semi-final game (that's mainly a "Ha! Take that!" kind of bonus). Second, Bill brought us a national title, something Roy was unable to do during his tenure here and demonstrating that Bill Self is the the coach that belongs at Kansas. Finally, Roy showed a lot of class in showing up for the game in a prominently displayed Jayhawk sticker and stating that he was rooting for KU (despite the fact that they had just beat his Tarheels...soundly). So, with that, Roy is no longer on my "people I depise" list, and Duke will resume its role as the team I most enjoy seeing lose (which was also quite fun this year). Roy, you are forgiven. At least by me.
Now if Bill Self heads off to Oklahoma State, I'm gonna have to kick his butt.
I've been a fan ever since 1988, when I didn't care about college basketball, but watched Danny and the miracles beat the heavily favored Sooner team to win the national title. Ever since then, I've been hooked. I attended the UMKC Conservatory for my undergrad and Masters (go Roos?), but they're not really a sports school, so my allegiance has stayed with the school down the road. I loved Roy Williams and what he did for the program, but he could never win the big one. When he left for North Carolina after saying he wouldn't, I, like many fans, was very upset and my love for Roy instantly turned sour. My least favorite team immediately went from Duke to North Carolina, with Roy's picture at the center of my dartboard (I don't really have a dartboard). When he won the National Championship with North Carolina the following year, something he could never do with KU, my contempt only grew.
Meanwhile, Bill Self was building his own program here. We suffered some disappointing first round tournament losses early on, sparking concern in some. But I really like Bill Self, and had faith that he would be "our guy." This year, of course, he proved it. And in the process, I've come to forgive Roy Williams.
First, we beat North Carolina (soundly) in the semi-final game (that's mainly a "Ha! Take that!" kind of bonus). Second, Bill brought us a national title, something Roy was unable to do during his tenure here and demonstrating that Bill Self is the the coach that belongs at Kansas. Finally, Roy showed a lot of class in showing up for the game in a prominently displayed Jayhawk sticker and stating that he was rooting for KU (despite the fact that they had just beat his Tarheels...soundly). So, with that, Roy is no longer on my "people I depise" list, and Duke will resume its role as the team I most enjoy seeing lose (which was also quite fun this year). Roy, you are forgiven. At least by me.
Now if Bill Self heads off to Oklahoma State, I'm gonna have to kick his butt.
First Blog
OK, I finally did it. I started a blog. I have no idea why it's taken me so long. I'm an opinionated person by all accounts and have no qualms about expressing those opinions. I haven't had an outlet for creative writing for years, so here it is. Welcome to my blog.
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